Archive for August, 2008


Monday, August 25th, 2008

UPDATE:My financial aid situation has been taken care of. I no longer owe $3200 and actually have extra money to help pay for my books, so my whole situation is taken care of.


Hi everybody! I just wanted to give you all an update on my first day at RIT. Move-In went fine, my dorm is on the 8th floor of my building, but there is an elevator. Unfortunately, they made it so that you had to go back down on the stairs. I got my stuff moved in and unpacked, anticipating my roommate wanting to change our room around (it’s pretty limited how much space you have when you leave the room the way it is set up) but he moved his stuff in without moving any furniture around, so we will see what happens. My roommate is kinda cool. He is really quiet (and i’m loud), and kind of meek (he didn’t give me a strong handshake when i first saw him). And he really is a computer whiz (read as almost as geeky as me), but we get along.

After I unloaded all my stuff and met my roommate, I headed to the Gordon Field House (It’s a big room that can fit A LOT of people) and got my ID and all my stuff for orientation. I also went over to the booth for financial aid and talked with them. I owe them $3200 and I won’t be getting any money from financial aid because of that. So I have to buy my books out of pocket, but luckily a family friend gave me a rather large amount of money that was supposed to be for living, but will now be for books and stuff for my classes. I have an appointment with them Wednesday so hopefully all of this will be worked out before classes start.

So, when I got back to my room I organized my desk area and put all my clothes away and put all my posters up on my side of the room and just kind of chilled out with my roommate. At 6, our entire house went to this place called the commons and got dinner and then proceeded to take up the entire back of the place. People argued over whether it’s soda or pop, and the second years attempted to remember all of our names. We then went back to the NRH Quad (it’s a courtyard out front of Nathaniel Rochester Hall…where my house is) and everyone stood in a circle and said their name, major and hometown. i decided to be funny when it was my turn and said, “Hi, my name is Alec and I’m an Alcoholic” which made everyone laugh. After everyone introduced themselves, we played Never Have I Ever. I got elbowed in the cheek bone by our house VP at one point running for a spot. It was fun. We then had about an hour and a half until our first house meeting, where we learned the rules and what is and not allowed in the rooms. I had to take down my christmas lights, because they’re not allowed to be on the underside of the bed because it’s a fire hazard…bull…

Afterwards I took a walk on campus and got a feel for it. I like it here, it feels sorta like camp, It’s really surreal. I still miss all my friends in Philadelphia though…well, I will see most of them in October when everyone comes up to visit.

An Awakening

Monday, August 25th, 2008

Sometimes it is hard to accept that all but the present is out of our hands. This morning, moments ago, I semi reluctantly but without reservation turned all things to god. The wise old man on the hill god no longer seems to work for me. But neither does trying to bend everything to my will. I recently told Josh, my pastor and dear friend that I felt I needed a new relationship with god. I think that may be synonymous with needing a new relationship with myself as well. So this morning I turn all things to the care of god and pray to be a vessel of that energy. I offer up that which I cling to most. May I be of service to those I love on earth and in the big blue heavens.

I have been greatly missing some really close friends these last few days. Ori and Tamara are both on vacation (i don’t think I’m ever gonna let them leave town at the same time again). Alec has gone off to college, and though I could not be prouder I still miss him. And of coarse I miss Andrea. Sometimes joyfully and sometimes with great sadness, but not a day goes by that I don’t wish for ten more minutes. I am grateful that she is here in spirit in so many ways, but a little fearful that this will lessen with the move. I guess we’ll see.

Be Well

Be careful what you ask for…

Wednesday, August 20th, 2008

Yesterday was the hardest day in quite a while. I had been looking for secrets or things I had forgotten while packing over the last week and not finding much. I wanted to remember the Andrea before cancer. The one I fell in love with. The one I changed my entire life for. She did cancer with grace. But let me tell you she did life… I was in awe. Yesterday I found what I was looking for. A love letter here, a picture there, marriage vows… I wept for hours. In moving I will be saying good bye, though my fondest memories are not even in this house. They lie in a crappy little 3 bedroom row home on oakdale street. I pulled it all back together in time for clay to get home with his loving girl friday (Jenny). I had the good fortune of talking with two amazing friends who continue to help me keep it all in perspective. And the boys are always there as well. Today I am In love with the world and all its possibilities. Thanks for being here.

Be well


Saturday, August 16th, 2008

Hi everyone! Alec here with a quick little update. A bunch of people wanted to know my address at my college, so they can send me letters and what not.

I live at…


Send me letters if you want to…but be forewarned, I’m not very good at replying back
Much love to you All


Friday, August 15th, 2008

Sorry friends for being away so long. I feel guilty as if I have let you down. Or maybe it is Andrea’s memory. I will not let her fade so quickly. Not that she would let me anyway. I feel her presence often almost as if she got to stick around a while to see what happens. I think that though not perfect, I was a good husband. I don’t know much about being a good late husband or even a single parent for that matter. On a spiritual level I feel that death has rocked me far far of coarse. I guess I had expectations about the relationship between god and death that were not met. I pray that Andrea’s expectations were and hope I get to find out some day. If God is there then I’m sure he is watching over me and my family in this temporary state of disillusionment and if this is all we have then at least I believe strongly in love and humanity.

So as far as the title goes… I need some help. Help could come in a few different forms I think. My situation is this…. As you know we need to move around the 25th or so. I have managed to survive the day to day grind without my wife. I have even managed to pull of a few shining moments of parenthood amidst a little guilt about just getting by. I have not been able to pack for the move or tie up all of Andrea’s affairs and the clock is ticking. Part two of my dilemma is that Naomi was planning on coming down for a month and taking care of the baby so I could get a lot of this stuff done, but can no longer because she can’t afford to take time away from work. She really took quite a bit of time and energy away for her life to be around during the time of Andrea’s passing and for that I feel forever in her debt. So what I really need right now is for those who are good with kids (and know my little man) to maybe donate a few half days of their time to take clay out to the park or zoo or… so I can get some of this other stuff done without breaking the bank on childcare. Please feel free to give me a call on Andrea’s old phone if you think you can help. 215 806 8573. I will be making some individual phone calls as well to those who already said they might have some time, but even that is hard to find the time to do so if you want to beat me on the draw feel free to grab your calender and call. You guys have all been amazing with helping this family stay afloat financially and emotionally, and I thank you . I will try hard not to be a stranger for so long anymore.


A quick little note

Monday, August 4th, 2008


Hey everyone, there is gonna be a fundraiser for Clay’s childcare at Delicious Corsets (see flyer). The fundraiser is a Pie-Throw in the Face Booth. So have some fun chucking some Cream Pies

The time it is a wastin’

Monday, August 4th, 2008


So as of today, I have exactly 20 days before I move in to my college dorm…and needless to say I’m really excited. Is it weird that I’m not nervous at all? I guess I’m just ready for some change in my life…

So I guess the point of this post is to…I don’t know…hmm…Well, I guess I can talk about Saturday. So on Saturday, Kelly and I went to the Download Festival at the Susquehanna Bank Center (it should be called SBC…Susquehanna Bank Center is to long to say). The Stooges played, but The Killers were the headliners….probably because they get a bigger draw. Iggy was awesome! At 61 he is still a god! I was so excited, screaming the words to No Fun, 1969, Search and Destroy, and I Wanna Be Your Dog. I realized how much my mom would have loved to be there, screaming the words with me. It made me really miss her. Sometimes it feels like she’s not really gone, she just went on vacation and she will be back in a day or two, but she never does. The next couple of months are gonna be hard. I’ve never been on my own without my mom being a phone call away to help me. I’m not nervous about college, I’m nervous about going to college and not having my mother to call when I’m homesick or want someone to cheer me up the way only a mother can.

It really sucks sometimes, my friends (the friends who are my age) try to act like they know what I’m going through, but you can’t understand this pain unless you experienced it first hand (with the exception of one of my friends who did lose her mother). And even if you understand, it’s still impossible to help. This pain is too real and painful.

Before my mother died she got a bunch of notebooks for each one of my siblings and I and started to write stories in them about when we were little. She wrote our medical history, she wrote what she wanted us to accomplish in our lives. Things like happiness, a good marriage, kids, etc.. But she also wrote what we needed to realize. The one thing that is reverberating in my skull now is what she would always tell me when I was had a bad case of depression: “You are strong, kind, intelligent and truly LOVABLE. You are deserving of all good things”. She was the only person in my life who could make me feel like that was true…I miss you Mom