The good with the bad


Today a couple letters from R.I.T arrived. They informed us that Alec will be getting $12,000 per year in scholarships solely based on his academic performance. It costs about $32,000 a year to go there with dorm fees and food. This is wonderful because Alec is still eligible for other grants and scholarships to further reduce the cost of tuition. Again the good things keep happening. I am so proud of my kids and these accomplishments. I hope it is not an ego thing. I do not want to take credit for these things. I think this is just a blessing from God that my kids are on their way to achieving wonderful goals. It all sets my heart to rest. I t helps me feel unburdened about the future.

Today i also found out that a friend who has been battling cancer has decided to enter hospice care. She was not responding to chemotherapy, and many other things. It is so heart breaking because she was a stage 2 lumpectomy person 2 years ago. And her cancer came back with a vengeance. I feel like it is harder for her than me. I think we would assume that she would be fine and healthy for a long time. In my case they presumed I was going to die and not have any kind of remission. It is easier to think I’m going t o die and be pleasantly surprised. It is a different matter to be told you will live and find out 2 years later you will not. This is the sick crazy hard world of cancer. It is a game of roulette…Russian roulette. Bad betting odds for most of us.

Today was a long day filled with more company and visits than I had planned but I was thrilled to have. Alys came by and we had lunch. My mom was here too. They both helped me around the house. Abbie came by with Darby and they stayed for dinner..which I made. Alec’s girlfriend Ashley has been eating dinner here every night as well. I also went to physical therapy, did the food shopping, and cleaned out the fridge.

Tomorrow is chemo. And I am filled with trepidation. I expect to feel awful. I hope I do not. And I know that I felt pretty darn good after acupuncture. All of this runs through my mind. In the end I need to pray to calm my anxiety about the nausea. Big deep breaths. I am in this for the long haul. My oncologist will probaly keep on this chemo for the next year. I can’t get stressed every Wednesday night about it. One day at a time. I am thankful it is working.

Thanks to everyone who has commented and who is praying for me. It means a lot to me to know so many care. I know that it strengthens my spirit. God bless you all.

12 Responses to “The good with the bad”

  1. kelly you-don't-know-me-but-I-read-your-blog-faithfully peeples says:

    As someone who struggles with chronic depression, I understand your trepidation. I am slowly grasping that I can’t wipe away the bad experiences…the good and bad go together. Can’t really have one without the other. Good luck tomorrow anyway, and hope it won’t sap your good streak.

  2. krm says:

    I have been very intrested in your story since i first read it in our local paper the other day. I dont know you but I am very amazed and so impressed with your strenght, you are a very special person thank you for sharing your story with us it keeps others that wish they had your traits in check. I wish you well what an amazing person you are and what a wonderful family you have, may god bless you, you all are in my thoughts.

  3. jenni bender says:

    i love you and you are always in my prayers!
    i was so happy to see you on sunday and i do what to come over and spend some real time with you.
    i’d also like to talk to alec about rit. granted i haven’t been there in 10 years, but it might be cool to talk about it.
    i am so happy that your family is experiencing all of these wonderful things.
    your kids are great and are achieving greatness, this is true…
    but they have a wonderful mother who raised them so well!
    i pray chemo goes well tomorrow and you don’t feel ill.
    i am going to call you friday… perhaps a weekend visit?
    i love you dear. xoxo

  4. jenni bender says:

    also… i am sorry to hear about your friend. i know all of it is God’s plan, but sometimes it is hard to swallow. it really is scary what cancer can do. i watch it’s progression on a daily basis. i see different sides to it.

    i will pray for your friend.

  5. Donna Arnold says:

    Hi Andrea:
    Always good to see your posts…..keep your chin up….good things to come.
    Congratulations for Alec….looks like the kids are all headed for great futures…you must be so proud of them!!!!
    Andrea, we will say a prayer for your friend…and you….and ALL those BRAVE WARRIORS fighting this terrible disease. have you ever seen, or heard of, Ford website…they are a HUGE supporter of the WOMEN who fight this disease…they have some really cool items fo folks, especially ladies!!! Its the Ford Motor Company website to support Warriors In Pink…check it out….
    Thanks for sharing your life and opening your soul up to us all….truly a remarkable inspiration. I have a pink ribbon with Cathy’s name inside the loop on my right bicep in her honor!!!! Its way cool!!!!
    Prayers for a positive experience at chemo today…
    We are waiting the arrival of Cat’s new drugs (pills) for her chemo….Xeloda ( been around about 40 yrs.) and Tykerb (new experimental drug she will be first one here to get) with some very good results in case studies when the two are used conjunctively….Herceptin IV will be stopped and she still will get Zometa every 3 weeks…so keep her in prayers also….
    Hugs from us here in SC……we are fans of your blogs!!! Donna

  6. dina says:

    hey doll. it’s been a crazy week…o had a fever of 103-104 for 4 days!! docs say it was a virus needing to run its course. thankfully, it broke yesterday, and i was overjoyed to lay him in his crib at 98.6 last night.

    my thoughts are all over the place…you are cooking dinners..yay…alec is getting lots of $$$ for college…yay…i am sad about your friend…i am hoping this chemo leaves you feeling better than the last time.

    i have a 3 day weekend for mlk day. will probably try to take owen to do something service related monday…trying to organize the toyroom sunday…gym class ealry saturday…but we are definitely available to help out/drop off a dinner/ whatever you guys need this weekend. and hopefully you didn’t take in that pirate movie without us, as that would make ed cry (just kidding-i think heb was planning a fever on that day!)

    off to do lesson plans. love ya. stay positive.


  7. dina says:

    ps: i can’t type. my editor hubby would be ashamed of me….ealry…heb….yikes…..

  8. Linda, Palm Harbor, Florida says:

    Hello Andrea,
    You don’t know me, but I read an article in the St. Petersburg Times about you several weeks ago and have been hooked reading your blogs. You are such an inspiration to me and I am completely in awe of your spirit, your faith, your humor, and of course your will to accept your life as you are living it now. Thank you for sharing it with everyone. You give people great hope in conquiring life’s challenges. I keep you in my prayers now and know all who know and love you must too. May God bless you today as you go for your treatment and will look forward to your future blogs.

  9. Julie says:

    Hiya Babe.

    Mozel Tov to Alec on his wonderful accomplishment. I feel your pride through my computer monitor (and rightfully so).

    I’m sorry to hear about your friend. I will add her to my prayers.

    Big healing vibes coming your way for chemo. I hope it’s better than last week!

  10. Stacy S. says:

    Andrea- Just wanted to pop in and say good luck tomorrow. As always you are in my prayers. hugs! Stacy

  11. leah says:

    hey, i think the positive attitude really helps things along, you enjoying your friends and family and getting back to your regular routines (along with the added ones) it really does help with the healing process. so you just being you is the best thing. i’m so happy for you.
    we need to get in touch, Asa wants dinner again, i have been so busy with extra stuff that i messed up my e mail boxes trying to make things easier. i will be in touch over the weekend about when i can help out with the dinners.
    the twins share a birthday with my brother!
    talk to you soon

  12. joshua says:

    gotta love those letters that say you’re getting $12 grand. can’t get enough of ’em.

    you’re so active! you’re making me tired!