Punk Rock Mommy

 

I was able to get to acupuncture on Saturday. Tucker came along for the ride with Kristine and I. He had a lot of questions about it so I thought Ed could answer them better than me. I just kept telling him I didn’t know I wasn’t an acupuncturist. Ed gave him a little lesson and gave him a gold needle( sterile;wrapped) to go home with. That seemed to please Tucker immensely. I was pleased that I felt a bit better. Less shaky. Less nauseous. I still felt quite exhausted. Kelly told me he thought some of this was psychosomatic. I prayed that he become a more enlightened being and left it at that.

I spent the remainder of Saturday on the couch. All of my children coughing and sneezing. I successfully passed on my cold to all who had the misfortune of encountering me. I apologize to everyone. Sunday was not without its issues, although physically I felt better. Well enough to make a quick trip to Trader Joe’s. And well enough to clean the bathroom and care for Clay. Naomi took Bailey and Clay to Ikea. I took a nap and went to church. I am very glad I had a little time for reflection. Circle of Hope is a beautiful group of people that I adore. It is sometimes the easiest and hardest place to be. I cried during worship (singing). Aubrey squeezed my hand. I am so aware of God’s grace. I need Him so much. As Josh spoke everything he said seemed so relevant and important. Lent is a time of trial. We are like Jesus in the desert. We say no to the powers that be. Awesome. I was moved beyond words. It is hard to be there when it makes me want to weep. I feel very vulnerable. My heart is very soft and I cry easily. Out of joy , sadness, or even reverence. It is easier to stay home and remain unmoved.

After some discussion with Naomi I have decided to take Clay and Bailey and go to Virginia from this coming Friday until the next Tuesday evening. Since it is a chemo week I will leave after acupuncture. Naomi will help me with Clay. And the twins will be with Eileen for all 5 days. Jesse will be here with Kelly and the dog. I think they will be fine. I need a bit of peace and quiet. I need to be rejuvenated. It has been a rough week emotionally. There are many things that I am praying about, trying to accept. I am struggling with the idea of long term chemo. I am waiting on the Lord. I am working through the uncomfortable place that is Lent.

I am waiting for spring. Rebirth. To feel warmth and happiness. This has been a bitter time in many ways. I am praying for some sweetness in my life.

This entry was posted on Sunday, February 24th, 2008 at 9:26 pm and is filed under Andrea Blog-Post. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.