What so good about it?


Today is Good Friday. The day Jesus hung on the cross and died. Suffered unto death and awaited the resurrection. Today the earth shook upon His death. Today His head hung low as He wore a crown of thorns. Why do Christians call this good Friday? Why not Sad Friday? I imagine it is because we know that His death secures our life. His death and resurrection insure our freedom. It is hard to imagine the suffering and distress Christ experienced. It is hard to believe that His Father let Him suffer in that way.

Today I feel like I am hanging on something too. When I was first diagnosed I would wake up and remind myself that I had cancer. I started every morning depressed. After a while that feeling left and having cancer became part of me. It was just the new normal. This morning I woke up and was reminded of how much my disease had progressed. I was filled with a heaviness and burden all over again. Today I felt like I too was in a tomb. The tomb of my cancer ridden body. My spirit walks beside me to escape being trapped. I too await a resurrection. A new life. A spirit free from disease.

Today my disciples crowded around me and wept. And prayed. And made plans for the future. Today I was encouraged by their love and commitment. They filled my house with comfort. I walked with my pastor and talked about God and the stations of the cross. I talked about cancer and chemotherapy. Today even with a heavy burden joy permeated my life. Even in this sorrow that gnawed at my bones my spirit was encouraged. I tossed and turned in my tomb and His light shined through. It was a good Friday.

I am thankful for every encouraging and loving word you have uttered.All of it lightens my spirit. All of it brings me peace. I am blessed by you. And I praise God for your presence in my life.

10 Responses to “What so good about it?”

  1. Jodie says:

    “Today even with a heavy burden joy permeated my life. Even in this sorrow that gnawed at my bones my spirit was encouraged.”

    That’s it. One day at a time. That’s all anyone can do. Know you have a whole army in your corner.

    If prayers can cure…

  2. Caramia62 says:

    You are truly a beautiful soul. God grant you the kind of peace only He can provide.

  3. Renee Khan says:

    Andrea I wrote this in my blog for Good Friday. It helps me, maybe it will help you too.

    “I can’t even tell you how many times I say ‘Into thine hands, I commend my spirit.’ Now that I am looking at death instead of pretending it doesn’t exist, what I really like about this phrase the most is that Jesus isn’t saying ‘Into thine hands, I commend my body.’

    The body dies, the spirit lives on.”

    You and I know that the body isn’t dead yet, but with this IBC we know it will be at some (hopefully much later date) point. Andrea our spirit lives on. The most important part about us will not die.

    My very best wishes go out to you Andrea.

  4. Sharon says:

    You don’t know me. I’m on the other side of the world, but I pray for you and your family.

  5. Donna Arnold says:

    You are the epitome of that song ‘Wind Beneath My Wings”I sing it loud and clear to YOU!!!! Patrick Swayze wrote and recorded it first. He, too, is carrying an awfully heavy cross….so I have you, he, and many others in my prayers each and every day…..may God continue to bless you…always….what town do you live in, by the way?
    Love ya, girl….fight on…..YOU are a survivor…..Donna in SC

  6. Helen says:

    I have been catching up on reading your blog. As I said some months ago, I shared your story with my lactation consultant peers, and your story has done much to raise awareness of IBC. I am saddened to hear of your recent trials, I pray for you and your family. I admire your strength and spirit, and your faith. Also, I do hope your blog is being kept on hard copy, your writing is amazing. It should be a book…
    Tomorrow is Easter, here in SE Wisconsin we are under 2 feet of snow. I am going to the grocery store to buy some daffodils or tulips in a pot since obviously I won’t see mine for some time. They always cheer me at this time of year.
    Stay strong, hug your babies and your loved ones, know that many are following your story and praying for you. One of my favorite scriptures is the line “thy will be done” from the Lord’s prayer, I tell myself often..it is now what I want on this Earth but what God has planned for me..for all of us.
    Bessed Easter

  7. Stacy S says:

    Everyday that you are able to spend time with your loved ones and the Lord is a good day! I love you girl! Keep going strong!

  8. shayna and jahna says:

    we love you so much

  9. Toni G says:

    Oh Andrea……….as I awaken each morning my mind, heart and fingers race to your website hoping for a miracle. There may or may not be one but YOU are the focal point by which I gauge many of my thoughts. The words and expressions that come out of your head are incredible in their weight of ‘truisms’. We differ in so many ways yet you are so much a part of me ……..I find this connection so amazing, so enrichening. I want so much for you to live and to be part of the ‘whole’ of life’s beings……you have so much faith and wisdom…….I marvel daily and pray I am not “tested” and hope if that day does come, I can approach and confront life in your manner. Even though we pray to a different religious reality, we share the joy of creation and humankind. Your children are enormously blessed.

  10. joshua says:

    that was the best Good Friday ever