Bloody exhausted


I am totally exhausted. My eyes hurt from being open, if that’s possible. I got up early this morning and got ready for my first appointment. I met with Dr. Mao my new internist. He just wanted to check my sugar. It is getting lower. He decided to increase my insulin and my oral medication. The overall appointment went well and didn’t last very long. When Gina and I left however we found that her car had been TOWED! Seriously. Gina was so calm and I just thought this sucks. We took a cab to the towing place and paid $178 to get it back! Somehow we got the car and still managed to get to my acupuncture appointment. I had Ed work on the nasty pain in my shoulder blade. He did his best work with needles and torture devices. It seemed to help a bit. Gina and I grabbed a quick healthy lunch and were on our way again.

We took 76 to Pennsylvania Hospital. We were about 10 minutes late. I waited for quite awhile for them to take me back. Eventually they took me to get my port accessed. And normally this is no big deal. But today the nurse missed! She stabbed in the chest with a huge needle. Blood went everywhere. I started crying. And they kept trying to access me. 2 more tries until she got it. I was so freaked out. Then back down the hall for my ct scan. Hold your breath…ok…hold your breath…ok. I felt so weak when I was done. Maybe it’s the contrast dye. All I know is that I am drained.

Dr. Mao wants me to start walking. In the woods he said. He wants me to get fresh air. He thinks it will lower my blood sugar. I just want to sleep. I am still “digesting” all the change. I am trying to figure out what I feel. I think sometimes these changes in treatment make me feel closer to death than cure. I am going to talk to Dr. Demichelle about radiation to my neck. Maybe just to shrink down the mass in my throat. It is just another thing to try. It’s amazing what your mind obsesses on when you are dying to live.

So it is Friday. My weekend is without plans. Other than to see my friend Lhianna and Clarence’s new baby daughter. Lhianna gave birth to her at home last night. 3 hours. My heart was filled with happiness to hear this news. It makes everything else seem so insignificant. So I am going to nap and then hopefully meet the new baby. And spend some time with my babies. And packing for our vacation.

Thanks to everyone who has been making food or sending it…Maiken,Geeta,Marti, Julie, Shareen.
Thanks to everyone who cares for the kids and I .You all make my life so much easier and joyful. I love you all. Andrea

8 Responses to “Bloody exhausted”

  1. Donna Arnold says:

    Hi Andrea:
    Wow…what a day and a week you have had. I hope the towing company will refund your fees…they should have a little compassion….:) One CAN hope, right????
    Do they spray a topical anesthetic on your port when they access it? Its called Ethyl Chloride…if they don’t, ask them to do so…..:) Make sure they ALWAYS inject Saline followed by Heparin…always… that order…we have Cathy’s done every 3 weeks whether its used or not……
    My darling, you have made some significant changes in the last few weeks…its no wonder you are exhausted…I am exhausted trying to follow along on your journey, too…lol
    You are magnaminous in your spirit, your courage, and even when things are so “down” in your journey…you always float higher thna any of us….you rock, Chicky girl!!
    When do you all go to shore, I “forget”…lol….big hugs….love ya…Donna in SC

  2. Gina says:

    I thought of one additional thing to add to your 20 aka 3 reasons why getting towed wasnt THAT bad….. we didn’t have Clay with us!!!! haha

  3. Renee Khan says:

    It is a hard road Andrea.

    I understand.

    Love Renee

  4. Donna Arnold says:

    You are a wonderful friend, among Andrea’s “small army”…..and your sense of humor is awesome as well…I can “feel” the calming effect you have on her….bless you, child!!! And yes, its a good thing Clay wasn’t along…lol….just another page for her Book of Can-isms…..Donna in SC

  5. shayna and jahna says:

    I wanted to come visit, but maybe you should come out to visit me- to see some trees. Maybe we could just sit among the trees, if you are too tired to walk. I am thinking of you and Kelly and the kids all the time.
    love love love,

  6. Pamela says:

    Hi, Andrea.
    I am so sorry about your awful week! It reminds me that my stupid problems this week weren’t really that bad! Well….my hip bursitis flare up FELT really bad, but it wasn’t a needle in my chest, just a needle in my hip (and even tho’ I’m a nurse I was scared to death!), but the doc sprayed tons of freeze spray first which really helped! I prayed so hard and so long for you last night, I prayed that God would heal you completely, and use it for His glory, because you are being such a witness in your faith to so many!
    I’ll keep praying, my dear sister in Christ!

  7. Julie says:


    Please be kind to yourself and get some rest. Let me know when you are ready for more soup.

    Much love!


  8. Lhianna says:

    I would love to do more walking in the Wissahickon . (As soon as i am able) maybe we can get each other out there more often. love, Lhi