empathy… a love story

To err is human. As humans sometimes the only thing we can do right is to love. I love you when you are right. Just as I love you when you are wrong. I sometimes think that love means not making that distinction at all. It was always a little hard to put myself in your shoes. You who always has a plan within a plan. You who keeps a calender and a clean house. You who loves order. I just paint everything in much broader strokes, spontaneous, chaotic, and improvisational. That is how I came to love you, in big bold reckless strokes. I thank you for frequently allowing me to disrupt the delicate tapestry of order that you weave. I know it was hard for you to let me in.

Now it is so much harder for me to see the world though your eyes. I frequently pray for empathy or some Divine insight. I feel the weight on my heart , head and stress knotted shoulders. The weight of sorrow and of fear. It hardens and desensitizes me. I know that is small compared to the the feeling of loss that you must experience. Loss of breasts. Loss of control. Loss of dreams. When we are close I feel strengthened by love even when you are sick and I am feeling spread thin from trying to take care of every thing. Funny how we can get our strength from the ones we help in their moments of weakness. I will always be there for you. I will do my best to make order of the things that slip beyond your control. Things will not always be the same as if you had done them. I paint in broad strokes. You may need to step back and see the big picture to see that everything is going to be just fine.

I love you


7 Responses to “empathy… a love story”

  1. Andrea says:

    Kelly loves me even when I am unlovable. This has always been something I am a bit in awe of. Mainly because even my close friends and family have not always made me feel worthy of being loved when I am at my worst. I have had moments as a parent where I understood what it was like to love one of my kids but not like how they behaved. It is an amazing thing that Kelly loves me with this much abandon. It is equally difficult to love someone who is…. maybe not always going to be here. I mean it is easier to create distance. To be close can be painful. But we are close. And there is no distance. And Kelly is aa good man with a huge heart who loves me and my children. He does a very good job of it too.

  2. jenni bender says:

    i love the both of you very much.

  3. joshua says:

    kelly, you’re the coolest. i’m happy for you two.

  4. leah says:

    that was absolutely beautiful.
    all love should be like that!

  5. Michele says:

    Nothing, not even cancer, can ever take away a love like that.
    I’m wishing you both the best.

  6. Toni says:

    two remarkable people engaged in a future for their remarkable family enduring, maintaining, sustaining, enhancing and loving……..loving…….loving what more can one expect from another human being. You are so lucky to have found each other.

  7. Erin Shields says:

    Hi Kelly,
    I haven’t met you yet…My husband Adam and I are old friends of Andrea. We have been away for some time now, and found out the news just recently when we returned home.
    I want you to know, if you need ANYTHING, please don’t hesitate to ask.
    I can only imagine how hard this is for you. I am so happy that Andrea has such a wonderful man by her side through this long, hard road. I wish you all the best and pray for you and your family all of the time.
    I hope to meet you and Clay soon.
    Take care.
    Lots of Love,
    Erin Shields